Defeat

This year has BY FAR been the greatest year ever.  So many things changed in my life, and God completely transformed my heart.  But even through all the victories, these last few weeks have been a little rough.

I've had hard days before, we all have.  But never have I ever felt so much failure as I have felt recently. 

It started out with my grades.  Last semester, I did really well.  I stayed on top of things just like high school, just like my parents expected, just like I told myself I would.  I was motivated and therefore successful.  But this semester has been different.  The semester went by so incredibly fast, and now there's no time to catch up.  I don't know what I was thinking when I didn't study for that psych exam, or that public speaking midterm, or my last spanish test...  In fact, I probably wasn't thinking at all.  Lies that I heard in my head post test grades:

"You will never succeed in life if you can't make an A in that class"

"EVERYONE probably made an A on that test...wow..."

Next came an even greater disappointment.  I had the opportunity to apply for two positions on campus that I was absolutely crazy about.  I told myself I would have to get one or the other, or I wouldn't be happy.  I didn't picture sophomore year without them.  And when I received neither position, I was devastated.  I moped around for an entire day before realizing it actually wasn't the end of the world.  But I was still disappointed.  And I was still beating myself up.  

Satan knew he had victory over me when he told me this lie:

"Chloe, not only are your grades less than perfect, and you're not a strong enough leader to hold any high position on campus... but I also just want to let you know that you're not equipped to be a camp counselor.  You really haven't experienced much in your life, so good luck mending those hurting hearts..."

I was completely defeated.


But in this moment, I realized enough was enough. I sat there thinking of all the lies the devil had been repeating in my head over the course of three weeks.  He wants me to fail, he wants me to stress out over finals, and he loves it when I'm discouraged.


Oh my gosh. It makes me so mad just thinking about it!!  I have realized that the only thing I can do in this situation is shut down his lies with Truth.  Satan has no power over us. NONE.  And we are not DEFEATED! And here's why.

Well, first of all...Grades do not define us, and Jesus won't be looking at our GPA when we get to Heaven!  But He will want me to say that I worked at everything with all my heart, as working for Him.  The problem with this semester has been effort.  But not only effort, trust.  Instead of completely stressing myself out about my GPA, it would be a better idea to prepare myself to the best of my ability--then trust God.  Because "Apart from Him, I can do nothing." Duhhh. Gosh, I've always known that.  But somehow this semester it just fled my mind.  Relying purely on yourself is never a good idea.  

Secondly, identity is found in Christ, not in my resume.  This one is so hard for me.  But it's true.  God will bless those who are humble, not the ones who brag about their success.  I thought I was the coolest because I had done so much on a piece of paper.  But God is the ultimate humble-er (if that makes sense).  Sometimes He closes doors so others can open! And He also promises this:  

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Last but certainly not least!

God will equip me for anything this summer, even if I haven't experienced it before.

2 Corinthians 6:1  I am God's co-worker (I paraphrased this..but yeah, eat that up Satan!)


Exodus 4:12 "Now, therefore go! I will be with your mouth and I will teach you what to say."

Colossians 2:10 "you are complete in Him"

The devil will constantly feed us lies, especially when we're stressed, or just feeling blah in general.  But we have so much power over him!  And we don't have to listen at all.  We do not have to accept failure or defeat!

Make God your focal point.  "Look to Me, refreshing yourself in My Presence, and your steps will be steady and sure."